A letter to my teenage boys

What does this have to do with a health and wellness newsletter? It's about mental health, and happiness, something that has really come to the fore front of society the last three years.

Once upon a time, there was a fairy godmother named Nancy Reagan…ur just kidding. You’re smart, so you know from history that she was President Reagans wife, the First Lady.

I was a teenager growing up in the 80s when her husband was president. Back then, there was this huge influx of cocaine and other drugs, from mostly southern countries. It wasn’t all their fault. Americans were buying it like crazy. Supply and demand. Many kids were also doing drugs, and the administration needed to do something about it. Mrs. Reagan meant well, and came up with a slogan called “Just Say No,” in relation to drug use.

Needless to say, it didn’t work.

I'm not exactly sure what to say to you as a parent, but I am going to try honesty. I have met many people who's parents were alcoholics, and their kids have no interest in drinking. That has always fascinated me as to what is the best approach.

I've had two addictions in my life, exercise and cannabis. One was good for me, and gave me some direction in life. The other really hit me off the rails of life for many years.

It's bizarre that you will grow up with cannabis being legal. You still can't do it as a kid. When we were kids, getting caught could mean some serious legal trouble.

I don't want to put people in jail for cannabis. Maybe the extent to which there are supermarkets now, full of every manner in which to ingest it, might be too easy also. Maybe some middle ground would be appropriate, but those are the arguments against prohibition. It is cool that you get to witness a modern day Gold Rush. For readers not from our small town, I think we now have 14 dispensaries. Many have been started because it’s still illegal in Texas. Fascinating market movements. It is interesting to note, that some of these dispensaries were late to the party. Maybe because they were high?

I wouldn't admit that I was addicted to cannabis for 25 years. Partially because I was led to believe that that was not possible. Mostly because I didn’t want to admit it.

The truth is, and this is why I wanted to tell you, is that you can be addicted to ANYTHING. Sex, porn videos, drugs, video games, alcohol, your smart phones, other devices, cigarettes, sugar, other food, exercise, weight loss, etc. It's important to recognize that, to help avoid addiction.

Addiction means that nothing else matters in your life except that thing. And possibly, you keep doing it, even though you regret it every time, and you’re in denial, and do it again anyways. It's all you think about. I’ve said this many times about your video games, and limited the time you get to play them. Think of Gollum in the Lord Of The Rings. Drug addiction can turn you into that. “my precious….”

When I was in high school, many of my friends and I were always looking to get “fucked up.” I'm not sure why. Maybe we were bored in a small town. The schools would lecture us about peer pressure, and I thought that was bullshit. But it was all true. I cared too much what other people thought.

Cannabis is not physically dangerous, in the way that alcohol and other drugs are. Opioids and Fentanyl now account for over 100,000 deaths per year.

There wasn’t much peer pressure with cannabis, because I was wanting to do it also. But peer pressure with alcohol and other drugs can be very dangerous. There were definitely times I didn’t want to take another shot, and didn’t want to be called a pussy.

I was a strong leader on an athletic field, but not socially. Socially I could have said, “no, I’ve had enough.” Learn to say that sooner than later, and not care what other people think. Moderation in all things. Why be the best at getting wasted? If I could go back, I would’ve only had a couple beers, and still being able to talk to chicks.

That idea carries over into many parts of life. Caring too much what other people think, can be very stifling, and hold you back in many ways.

The more confidence you have in yourself, and don’t care what others think, the happier and more successful you will be. This is not something that your generation focuses on now. Now they want an excuse to be a victim all the time.

Adults look back fondly at great events in our childhood. We remember playing in the big sports games, or the plays we were in, art work, music concerts, etc.

We never look back and think, “Oh yeah, getting drunk was awesome. So glad we did that, it’s made me very happy and successful.”