Conversations that give HR a stroke

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

Rehab are a pretty immature bunch. I think we need and use sarcasm to help deal with some situations, and/or it just makes the work day more fun.

I currently work in a very large health network, where all new employees are educated to not offend any patient or other employee in any manner.

After training, and as a somewhat frightened new employee, you kind of walk around with a deer in the head lights look, not sure you can say anything without offending someone, especially in today’s climate.

Luckily one of the front office ladies (boy that sounds sexist and offensive) told me if I crossed her, she would cut me. That certainly helped break the ice, and let me know I could joke with the front office crew.

Back to the immature part, I have all this rehab rhetoric that I spout all day, sometimes loudly, because many patients are hard of hearing.

“DON’T PUSH SO HARD THAT IT HURTS!” I told one old (offensive ageism) man.

Immediately I could hear some broad (female team member) giggling across the gym, and then realized the Beavis and Butthead line I was delivering. Now I’m self conscious about repeating that one.

Some more of my favorites;

• “Don’t limp on the way out, it makes us look bad…”

• “You just can’t let it go can you…” A patient’s response to me measuring her knee when she’s in pain.

• “How bout you just do what I asked you to do…” Another PT to a patient who was constantly questioning the rationale. He was joking, but HR would have a stroke.

• “Someone cut you leg off 3 weeks ago…” My response to people asking why they still have pain after surgery.

• “We wouldn’t do it if it was easy…” In response to patient frustrations with exercises.

• “I have to go see Dr Numbnuts on Thursday…” A sassy female retiree with a Boston accent, to me just the other day. Classic…

• “I’m afraid you’re going to make it..” Me to patients who have a sense of humor. Again, another HR stroke.

This summer is my 30th anniversary in this business. It’s these conversations that keep me going. Thank you all!