Pickleball Nazis
Sorry, I know those analogies are way over used these days. The original title was going to be Pickleball Vikings, but that wasn’t as good. Maybe we’ll switch back and forth. I’ve met many wonderful grandmothers who play pickle ball, and they are the sweetest women you have very met…
Until they step on a pickle ball court.
Then they have a ferocious competitiveness. You can actually see the calculated stare, as they talk about returning to the battlefield. “I want to win so bad…”
The snows have started to melt, the mountain passes have started to open. Time for a raid on all courts, and the faithful have been restless, cooped up all winter.
Speaking of Colonel Klink, that’s the sound of the ball being hit over the net, quietlike, “klink, klink, klink…” and then a kill shot down the line, like Swiss perfection.
I grew up watching tennis with my father. Saturday mornings…grainy TV… Wimbledon…70’s hair and attire…hushed British voices… some American commentator with hair everywhere, except his head…”nice return by Connors…volley by McEnroe….”
Then the eruptions… “You Can’t Be Serious?!?!”
I was fascinated. I was taught to be respectful and have good sportsmanship as a young child. Here were grown adults throwing a tantrum on the tennis court, with millions of people watching.
Over the years, there’s has been a slow move on tennis by the National Pickleballists. I’ve witnessed some blitzkrieg movements on homeowners associations against tennis (Poland).
Of course, the faithful will not mind that I’m poking fun, so long as I provide an edge, so that they may win, and help avoid injury. So here’s a few suggestions.
My favorite to start with is just balancing on one foot. While you are balancing, the brain and muscles are coordinating a subconscious symphony. You can hum “Flight of the Valkyries”, while you practice, or day dream about vanquishing your enemies on the court.
Walking is a series of balancing on one foot. I have many patients in their sixties who get frustrated and embarressed when they are unable to do this. Yet this is extremely important for injury prevention and to improve skills in any sport. If this can’t be accomplished stationary, without any outside forces, how is the leg going to remain stable at full speed?
If that's too easy, progress to balancing with resistance bands, pulling across your body, in all angles.
All types of leg strengthening will help prevent injury, improve balance, and improve performance. Squats, lunges, stationary bike, etc.
Warming up is critical to injury prevention, and improving performance. Stretching is not the same.
Those of you upset about the mention of Nazis? Hogan’s Heroes came out in 1965, 58 years ago, and 20 years after the end of WWII. It won two Emmys, and an NAACP award.
This is just satire.