Polyester dress codes

"I knew he had a stick up his butt"

If you run into me in town, I am likely covered in chain or motor oil. I have dog hair on my clothes. I may not have showered yet, or combed my hair. This is how I’m most comfortable. I’m not at Walmart in my pajamas and slippers, yet, but this is New Mexico, so give it time. Maybe I’m wanting to look like a lumberjack. Some blue collar posing.

I cringe when I think back to what I must have looked like as a 20 something employee. Wearing a Guatemalan pullover, or “drug rug.” I was also too idealistic. Think David Crosby voice (sorry for his passing,) “hey man, it shouldn’t matter what you look like, people shouldn’t be like judging and stuff…” Jesus Christ. I would have fired my ass.

When I arrived at my first big professional job, the employer had us in a tie, and white medical jacket, duster length for men. As an assistant, I felt especially ridiculous and fraudulent. It was also 100 degrees outside in the desert, in the summer. Part of my job was to see kids at summer school. Back then there were only swamp coolers in that particular school. I learned to move a little slower, and stop that East Coast cadence.

Those were replaced with gold jackets, kind of like the green jacket in golf. The employees of course bitched about those also, and they started to fade away.

Looking back you learn a lot about employee behavior. What is the lowest common denominator? What is the least I can do, dress wise, and get away with it? I had that mentality. The public schools also have this mentality. If we can’t have “fairness,” then we’ll hold every school back, so no one gets ahead.

A few years had passed, the dress code relaxed substantially, and we all had hospital rotations. A PT/PTA team of two men were assigned for a 6 month rotation. They were going to be there all day. On their own initiative, they started wearing nice clothes and ties. They were rock stars. Think Woody Harrelson in the opening scene of Kingpin. Disco balls fell from the ceiling, “…every girl crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man…” Female nurses making nice comments about their studliness. Chair bound octogenarians fluttered their eyes in their direction, “help me up next, please.” They ate it up. Their work day actually appeared enjoyable. They took pride in their appearance and their job.

I haven’t taken things nearly that far, however, have started dressing nicer than I have to. Part of the reason is people’s comments that I don’t look old enough for experience. “So, how long you been doing this?” That comment is not as frequent as it used to be. I do think customers and colleagues treat you better, the nicer you dress. That’s far from guaranteed. Of course, people can dress very nice, and be absolutely full of shit. I’m just fascinated by the social perception.